Chesisebangiau

I know my great grandma is here because the chesisebangiau told me.

I looked outside and all around me to find her but couldn’t see.

Except for the grave where her body rests

Underneath the chedebsachel tree.

And the veranda where she used to sit 

Where she would share her wisdom 

Telling stories of her simple beginnings

Washing her mouth in coconut oil 

And her hands in a water basin.

Her summer house where she made makit

Her living room that used to be a convenience store.

Her clothes hangers in the yard dancing with the wind

Her rain water tank that filled up basins for us to shower.

Her betel nut, coconut, and banana trees 

Her pink flowers that still grow 

Despite her no longer here.

Her scent of white flower on my grandmother

Her mumus passed down to us

The closest we’ll get to a hug

Her beauty framed on the altar

Her life left us the most loving scar

“Please take me with you”

I said to the chesisebangiau

I just want to see her, hear her, hug her

Feel her near 

She has always been my strength 

But the chesisebangiau kept flying around me

Telling me there is no void. 

She is here even beyond her pictures and polaroids

Don’t worry the chesisebangiau continues 

You hear her every day 

In the wind the trees, the songs and the silence

You see her in your nieces, sister, mother, and gardens

She never left 

And in your heart she will always stay 

It is true I feel her presence in each passing moment and every single day

The chesisebangiau then flew away and one day returned

This time I smiled and said thank you for visiting 

me again and reminding me of the truth. 

MDR